Friday, March 14, 2008

It's Not Sunny When It's Mourning

Sometimes I think the peril of being a woman in the tech world is that, well, we're in a world full of men. And while we may function as our male counterparts on the outside, we're still women on the inside. Half the time, we think we know the score, but somewhere along the line, we're playing completly different games.

Tonight I mourn the loss of everything, because I hope that naming my losses may prove cathartic. The loss of Piergiorgio, the man I loved but never really existed in the first place. The loss of my heart, crushed in an instant by deceit. The loss of my child who chose not to become part of this world. Then finally, the loss of my heroes. I know how much impact a woman can have on a man, yet somehow it seems that men have no idea of the impact they have on us. No idea of the little girl inside who trusts and looks up to them. No idea, that we love them.

The heart has an infinite capacity to mend. Relationships, not so much.

What happens now? I just don't know.